My Jeffy Has Blue Balls

So its Tuesday, and we are still awesome (just in case y'all wanted to know). The day was quite the usual however our lunch involved a Jane Austen Book Club meeting and some good ole' fashion thievery. Whilst dining at Panera, I with my "chicken of the sea" and Jen with her "lettuce butts", we became captive audience to a table of ladies recaping the last book in the Twilight series. The one with the Captain Hook eyebrows had to be their leader. Our attention was quickly diverted back onto us, it was time for us to relish in our own awesomeness. We finished up our lunch and headed to the next episode over at Hobby Lobby.

Hobby Lobby must be where people that don't work go to during the day, its always busy. We needed 2 things: plastic plants and a picture frame. We found needed items and proceeded to the checkout line. We had both plants in our buggy, with the bigger one in front, she asked, "is this all?" as she scanned the large plant. I said no and handed her the frame not realizing that she had not scanned the smaller plant that was all Rosa Parks in the back of the buggy. "$71.64", she says and I hand her my card, Jen meanwhile is already out the door. I walk out after her now realizing what had happened....we were thieves, scum of the earth. Oh well life goes on, at least that's what Corky says.

Back at the ole' jalopy (aka work), we showed off our "booty" to the Grand Master (aka the boss) and went back to our perch, high above the rest, where we shall remain.....for eternity.

Benefit Crashers

Earlier this morning we attended a benefit in the Texas Medical Center where we ate quiche with Barbara Bush…well, we ate quiche BEHIND Barbara Bush. Surely she knew we were there. Everyone else seemed to have spotted us from a mile away. Perhaps we looked out of place among the other uppity bitches, after all I did leave my scarf and brooch at home. If Harmony had only worn her twin set and pearls, we would have definitely made the pages of society magazine, PaperCity. It was like being at a sorority function, and I was lucky enough to find the only other heathen in the room. Every sorority has a couple of girls like us…you know, the kind who joined for the free t-shirts and parties.

A quick scan of the room, okay, Babs is seated and the Secret Service agent has refilled her coffee. We’re outta there, with Harms smoking a cigarette on the way out. Don’t make eye contact, or they will ask where we are going. Now we are off to our next community service event where we will continue to service the community.

You make me touch your hands for stupid reasons

This is pretty much the best thing ever… as long as you have the sound on. If you don't it's completely worthless.

We're kind of a big deal...

So check it...this is Jen and Harms and we're the bitches you love to hate. From where we sit people adore us and if they don't, they hatin'. Coming live from the workplace (where we run the show), we are here to blog about everything and absolutely nothing. We're experts on all things from Anal to Zebra.

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