Just as we did with mad cow, bird flu and monkey pox, it appears mankind has thwarted swine flu. And even though these diseases have collectively killed as many people as falling pianos in the past ten years, it is our duty as rational adults to react like five-year-olds fearing the boogeyman every time we're told of some disease we're unfamiliar with. I mean what's next? Giraffe Leukemia? Unicorn Hypochondria?
Jezz.
Ps. In case you are wondering, Giraffe Leaukemia is contracted by using a toilet immediately after a black virgin. Symptoms include hair and nails growing at their normal rate. Treatment consists of taking off clothes and screaming.
Unicorn Hypochondria is contracted by using hammocks. Symptoms include getting a song stuck in your head and being unable to name the guy in that movie. Treatment consists of taint-pinching.
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