It's Ladies' Night and the Feelings Right

The ladies were in full effect Friday night. After a pre-party snafu, good times were had by all. Stacy, Harms and I graced the simple folk with our presence, and they were grateful. The beer was cold and the bartender was hot. I imagined myself doing bodyshots off his rock hard abs, but his girlfriend was front and center. I couldn't tell if it was my beer goggles, but she vaguely resembled a character from the Dark Crystal. It was nice of her to come out of her cave, but it really wasn't necessary.

We spotted a few celebrities, but none who outshone our star power. Jack Nicholson and his lovely date sat next to us. She tried to elbow her way into our circle of awesomeness but was brutally rebuffed. Not even Jack could help her now. He would need to help her with that halter top and perm before he even approached us about membership. Harms rubbed her cleavage on Doogie Howser and turned him ten shades of red. She didn't get the memo that Doogie just came out of the closet, but if anyone's boobies can turn a gay man straight...

Stacy was in the corner being wooed by Edward Cullen. Stacy may look easy, but her pants were like Fort Knox. Edward's pompadour deflated an inch or two when he learned he would not be taking her home. That wasn't the only heart she broke that night. Hall & Oates said it best "watch out boy she'll chew you up (oh oh here she comes) she's a maneater!"

It was a fabulous night, and I learned a few lessons:

1. Jager Bombs + Camels = death
2. Perms belong in the 80s
3. Doogie Howser is gay
4. The Dark Crystal is still a good movie
5. A thong and the absence of pants cannot inhibit the perfect execution of the Worm
6. We definitely earned the nickname Bone, Thugs N Harms

We'll see you at tha crossroads so you won't be lonely.