Like a Drifter I Was Born to Walk Alone

I'm due to have my hair permanently straightened, but I have some severe 80's Hair Band frizz going on today. I'm feeling compelled to roll around atop the hood of my Nissan Altima a la Tawny Kitaen. However, such vehicular acrobatics requires a level of flexibility I’m not sure I have. Not to mention I don’t have anywhere to plug in my smoke machine.

While I will always have a little 80s Hair Band Slut in me, I must retire my scrunchie and my industrial-sized can of Aqua Net. I will, on the other hand, keep my leather mini dress and silver studded belt for obvious reasons.